| Some of us (especially Southerners)
are pretty skeptical of horoscopes, and it has become obvious that what
we need are "Southern" symbols.
OKRA
(Dec 22 - Jan 20)
Although you appear crude, you are
actually very slick on the inside. Okras have tremendous influence.
An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence
everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies.
CHITLIN
(Jan 21 - Feb 19)
Chitlins come from humble backgrounds.
A chitlin, however, can make something of himself if he's motivated and
has lots of seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful. They
can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.
BOLL WEEVIL
(Feb 20 - Mar 20)
You have an overwhelming curiosity.
You're unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to
bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very
intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their
right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it.
MOON
PIE (Mar 21
- April 20)
You're the type that spends a lot
of time on the front porch. It's a cinch to recognize the physical appearance
of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key words here. You should marry
anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's not
going to be easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Or -
Maybe not.
POSSUM
(APR 21 - May 21)
When confronted with life's difficulties,
possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it
attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're
dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but
seems to work for you. One day, however, it won't work and you may find
your problems actually running you over.
CRAWFISH
(May 22 - June 21)
Crawfish is a water sign.
If you work in an office, you're always hanging around the water cooler.
Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course,
the bathtub to the living room. You tend to be not particularly attractive
physically, but you have very, very good heads.
COLLARDS
(June 22 - July 23)
Collards have a genius for communication.
They love to get in the melting pot" of life and share their essence with
the essence of those round hem. Collards make good social workers, psychologists,
and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards,
stay away from Moon Pies. It just won't work. Save yourself a lot
of heartache.
CATFISH
(July 24 - Aug 23)
Catfish are traditionalists in matters
of the heart, although ones whiskers may cause problems for loved
ones. You catfish are never easy people to understand. You prefer
the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life. Above all else, Catfish
should stay away from Moon Pies.
GRITS
(Aug 24 - Sept 23)
Your highest aim is to be with others
like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other
Grits. You love to travel though, so maybe you should think about
joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese
or gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you can go somewhere where they
have all these things, that serves you well.
BOILED
PEANUTS (Sept
24 - Oct 23)
You have a passionate desire to
help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best - your friends
and loved ones - may find that your personality is much too salty, and
their criticism will probably affect you deeply because you are really
much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry
anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life.
On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over
and stop for you.
BUTTER
BEAN (October
24 - Nov 22)
Always invite a Butter Bean because
Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should
be proud. You've grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no
matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However,
you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.
ARMADILLO
(Nov 23 - Dec 21)
You have a tendency to develop a
tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle. A good evening for you?
Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are
a throwback. You're not concerned with today's fashions and trends.
You're not concerned with anything about today. You're really almost prehistoric
in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another
Armadillo, but Possum is another somewhat kinky, mating possibility. |